Ever Thought of Fun and Marriage?

Okay so I’ve been noticing that a lot of people have been having marital problems these days. I mean I have close friends that are going through serious serious problems right now. It made me stop and think what’s really going on? I remember when I first started dating my wife we used to have such a blast, we would go out and goof off and laugh and just have fun.

Where’s the joy in life don’t we know how to have fun anymore? As we get older it seems like we get way too serious about life, I mean it’s like we forgot how to enjoy ourselves.  Every time I turn around it seems that someone wants to show me something negative instead of something that is good.  I mean what’s up with that? When was the last time that you and your spouse just laughed like you were kids? I mean a belly aching laugh. I am a firm believer that with joy comes strength. You see I’m sick and tired of watching people that I love give up on their marriages. If we would all just take some time to remember the beginning,  to remember those good times,  I’m sure we can remember why we married that special person.

Life is too short to give up on our spouses and our children. I know that people do all sorts of things like go to counseling and go to therapy to make their marriages work but in order for those things to work we have got to be  100 percent committed to making it work. Are we really committed to making our marriages work? And it takes two to commit not just one, we both have to commit to make it work.

If you are going through marital issues don’t just quit. Try to remember why you feel in love in the first place. It won’t be easy, but marriage isn’t easy it’s hard work and dedication. Seek counsel and be prepared to see it through. Just because the world has accepted divorce as an everyday option to any little marital problem doesn’t mean that we have to. Be willing to fight for your spouse and your children.  Take a moment to reflect on the good times and the joyful moments. Give joy a chance.  Remember,  no one just wakes up and decides to get a divorce, it’s usually thought through for months maybe even years in some cases.  The key is to have a plan that will prevent that day from ever coming. I’ve been married for 15 years and we have had our share of bad times, but one rule we have lived by is to never throw the “D” word around. Our thinking is, if you use the word as a threat to get what you want then eventually you will convince  yourself to do it.  We also don’t go to sleep angry with each other.  Now this one takes some “pride swallowing” but sometimes even if you are right, the best thing to do is learn to forgive and move forward. Now this doesn’t mean to forget it or not work through the problem, it just means to try your best to let your anger cool before sleeping. In this way you are working against resentment and grudges. I know it’s not easy, but it is worth it.

Try to enjoy your marriage. I know for some, these things just don’t work because it really takes two to make one.  But as long as it is in your power, do your best to make it work.

Find the joy that you both once shared.

Think about it…

2 Responses

  1. Hi Lonnie,
    Michael and I will celebrate 25 years this October and we are best friends and definitely complete each other. We have had our share of rough times that needed prayer and time to work through, but one thing we kept in mind is what you stated; don’t go to bed angry. The church is doing a program for our children’s ministry on anger. The verse is Eph. 4:26. The New Living Translation says, “And don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.” Don’t let anger get control of you. So true! This promise to each other causes a person to think about what they should do before the other goes to sleep. If we considered the next verse in 27 (“for anger gives a mighty foothold to the Devil.”) more, then we would try harder to keep that promise.
    Don’t just consider WWJD, but how would Jesus approach this problem or situation. I feel so out of sorts when Michael is mad at me. I’m so thankful he is patient with me, because of my emotional responses at times. I’m so thankful Jesus is intertwined in our marriage to keep us going when we struggle and are weak.
    Such a good message, Lonnie!
    Andrea

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